Getting a "Smiley"

I went to the doctor AGAIN today for another blood pressure check, urine screen (to check for protein), and a biophysical profile on the baby. My blood pressure was high at the office, again, it has been consistently high for about 2 weeks despite the rest and the prescription medication. I also had protein in my urine--yet another indicator of pre-eclampsia. The biophysical profile is a timed, in-depth ultrasound used to monitor baby's movements and breathing patterns, check organ development, and other stats, like weight and amount of amniotic fluid. I had one last week, as well. Both of the biophysicals showed that I have a healthy, thriving baby boy growing and kicking around inside of me! My doctor is concerned about the pre-e, though, as it may get worse if we do nothing, and if this happens, things can get really bad. It can be life-threatening for me and for baby. So, the docotor recommended that I have a C-section now which will ensure that baby and I stay healthy. So, I have a C-section scheduled for Friday morning! I am feeling a mix of emotions--on the one hand, I feel relieved and very excited to see my little boy; on the other hand, I am very nervous about the surgery. I had all my girls vaginally, so this is somthing very new to me. I've been reading up on it and talking to other women who have had them, so I feel like I am educated on it, but that doesn't mean that I feel ready! I'm particularly nervous about keeping it togther during the operation while I lay there conscious and knowing they are cutting me open on the other side of the curtain! I shoudln't have watched so many C-sections on the Discovery Health Channel--I know I will be picturing them in my mind while I'm lying there!
A healthy baby and a successful surgery are the utlimate goals, so I'll just try to focus my mind on these things instead of worrying about the details...